Hurt
by Madame Faith
Summary: Ok, this is my first story submitted so try and be kind...unless you completely hate it, but please no flames. Just a little story about Hermione's loss.


The rain was falling down the window pain, the sky was crying. Just like her.

"I'm sorry Hermione, Draco didn't survive the attack." Dumbledore's words floated through her mind.

Hermione didn't cry then, she nodded, picked herself up and went back to her common room, their common room.

A week had passed and Hermione had not left his room, their room. If she looked at the bed she could see them smiling at each other, she could feel his arms around her, hear his whispered words of love.

_Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face._

_You told me how proud you were, but I walked away. _

_If I only knew what I know today, ooh ooh._

Ron and Harry had found out, she begged them to forgive her and accept him but they made her choose. And she chose. She chose them.

"They need me Draco. We've always fought together." She said, tears falling from her eyes.

"I need you, we were supposed to fight together." He said quietly, she looked away.

"I know… I can't leave them now." She said turning to walk away.

I would hold you in my arms 

_I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you have done_

_Forgive all your mistakes_

She hadn't really seen him after that, she made sure they were never together for the rounds through the castle, sat away from him in lessons and came in later at night so she didn't see him. It wasn't because she knew he would be mad, it was because she didn't trust herself around him. Draco had a way of drawing her to him, even when he was angry she couldn't help but want to touch him, to feel him, to be with him.

It didn't work forever though; he was there one night when she came back from an evening in Gryffindor tower. Pansy Parkinson was with him.

Theres nothing I wouldn't I do 

_To hear your voice again_

_Sometimes I wanna call you_

_But I know you won't be there_

Hermione, despite herself had been angry; she had thrown her books across the room and started to scream.

"You said you loved me!" She had cried. "You can't have loved me that much if you've moved on so quickly!"

Draco stood, causing Pansy who had been straddling to fall off, and smirked at her.

"What's wrong Granger?" He'd said. "You run off to Potty and Weasel and find they're crap in bed and now you're angry at _me_?"

"I'm not sleeping with them!" She'd screamed. "I'm helping them in the war!"

"And I'm helping myself, come on Pansy." He'd said holding out a hand for her and led her up to his room. To their room. "It's not my fault you can't move on." He had said before disappearing into the room.

_Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you _

_For everything I just couldn't do_

And I've hurt myself by hurting you 

Hermione was heart broken at that, she knew she had betrayed him and blamed herself but it had turned out he never loved her. It was a lie, all of it.

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit 

_Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss_

_And it's so hard to say goodbye _

When it comes to this, oooh 

Three months later a note had appeared on her pillow, it was his handwriting and hesitated. They hadn't had any contact in those three months and wondered briefly why he would write to her before tearing it open.

Hermione,

I don't know why I'm writing to you except to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for pretending I didn't love you, for treating you like dirt and most of all for letting you go. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough to make you stay.

I'm saying these things because I have to go back to my house; Voldemort will be there. I'm going to go and try to take out as many of those Death Eaters as I can. I know it sounds stupid but it's the only way I know how to help. You don't need me any more, I can see that. I wouldn't be wanted in the Order or in the Death Eaters so this is my last chance to help.

I don't know how many I will take out before they kill me but I know they will, so I just wanted to say how much I love you. And the last thought going through my mind will be of you, your smile, your laugh, and your mind. You, Hermione Granger, are perfect in every way and never believe anyone who tells you different.

I hope you can move on and find happiness with someone who deserves you.

Draco.

Hermione had screamed as she ran down the corridor to Dumbledore's office. She screamed as she banged on his door but as he let her in with a solemn look on his face she stopped. Snape and McGonagall were watching her with equally grave looks. Hermione knew then, she knew she'd never see him again.

_Would you tell me I was wrong? _

_Would you help me understand? _

_Are you looking down upon me? _

_Are you proud of who I am?_

_There's nothing I wouldn't do _

_To have just one more chance_

_To look into your eyes _

_And see you looking back_

Hermione watched the rain, the sky was crying. Crying for her, for him, for her loss. She fingered the time turner in her hand. She felt nothing, she was empty. It was not just the loss, she had left him. He wouldn't have gone if they were together, they were going to fight together. They might have even died, but they would have been together. Now he was gone and he was alone, she wasn't there like they had promised each other. He had been totally alone when he left this world, all because she chose them over him, all because she blamed him for moving on too quickly, all because of her.

_Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you _

_For everything I just couldn't do _

And I've hurt myself, ohh 

She had used the time turner for her third year and all of this year, she knew how to work it. Ten turns would take her back a week; she could go and apologise to him. Tell him she loved him; beg him not to go through with his plan.

_If I had just one more day_

_I would tell you how much that I've missed you_

_Since you've been away  
Ooh, it's dangerous_

_It's so out of line_

To try and turn back time 

Hermione sighed in frustration as she threw the time turner across the room; it landed on the bed where her and Draco had spent many nights, telling each other they loved the other, showing them just how much. Harry and Ron hadn't come to find her, Dumbledore was the only one who came.

"Hermione, I know how much his death has effected you." He said gently. "None of us knew how deep you two felt for each other but now it is clear. He was brave and made a choice for the light in the end. You have to make your peace Hermione; you must let him go. To focus on death is forgetting to live, he would not want you to dwell on his passing for too long." Hermione completely ignored him and stared out of the window watching the sun trace patterns across the grass until he left. That was two days ago, no one had bothered her since. Only the ghosts of memories floating through her mind, keeping her awake and not letting her go.

"I'm sorry Drake. I'm so sorry…"

_I'm sorry for blaming you_

_For everything I just couldn't do_

_And I've hurt myself by hurting you_


End file.
